Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor (kistaro) wrote,
Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor

Work stress

Stress at work has been weird lately.

I mean that in a very literal sense. Work stress has been a weird experience to have. At my last few workplaces, I became used to the helpless kind of stress: the experience of having been given an impossible task, in the circumstances. (Usually these tasks looked possible at first glance, but the reality of what other people on the project were actually doing, able to do, or willing to do killed it.) This stress is new: having been given a difficult task I am capable of. I am used to futility; I am not used to pressure.

It's put me a bit on edge, but I'm learning to deal with it, especially since it doesn't seem to be an unhealthy experience to have anyway. The other half of the work stress is that I have been having to do a lot of introducing myself to and having meetings with managerial-type people in other teams; they have generally been pretty awesome people, but it has not been gentle on my social anxiety.

The latter one is more frustrating. It's a fairly basic part of business that I am having obvious trouble with and just as obviously "shouldn't". It's nothing new, I'm just being put in a position where my anxieties professionally matter, and it sucks. But at the same time, it's an environment where I do feel generally competent, and there are reasonable general expectations I can follow and deal with, and use, so maybe it represents my best chance to start to get over these things.

I guess what I really need is patience with myself- it is different from past work stress, but I am under stress at work and I need to respect it. I should adapt quickly, but part of adapting is that patience.

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Tags: anxiety, work

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