I've been spending more and more of my time utterly exhausted, lately. Part of it is bad scheduling on my part, but part of it is too much demand; the time between when I finish work and when I need to sleep simply doesn't include enough time for what I have to do to keep the household running.
Not all of it is sleep deprivation; it's more about what the sleep deprivation implies. I'm pushing myself to get things done right up until I can finally make it into bed about 5 hours before my alarm goes off in the morning. I'm getting very little psychological rest, as well.
I don't know what to do about this. I'm not doing well at keeping up with people because I don't have the energy to, and I feel like time I spend talking to people is stolen from household maintenance time; when I manage the apartment, I feel like I'm stealing that time from people who want or need to talk with me.
It's making me unfairly resent the people I live with, since they demand even more non-interruptable time, time I can't parallelize with getting the other things around the house done. So in the end, every half-hour I spend talking to people in this house is at least 15 minutes I don't sleep.
This can't stay as it is. I have a few thoughts about what has to change, but while pieces of it are changing, others are not.
I've migrated to DreamWidth. The original post is at http://kistaro.dreamwidth.org/484329.html. View comments at http://kistaro.dreamwidth.org/484329.html#comments; go ahead and use OpenID to post your own, or you can comment here.