color cycle (slow)

Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor

Unfortunately, I Really Am That Nerdy

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Longing
literary, reading, research
kistaro
The problem with reading dragon-centric fiction is that I enjoy it at the time, but it tends to have bad effects on my mental state thereafter. It's rare that this focuses on the world of the book, mind you; traditional dragon-centric fiction is a violent thing I'd prefer not to be part of. Emphasizing the very sincere sense that I am the wrong species is not the primary issue, either, since that's a perpetual motif in my mind anyway, and reading does little to shape that one way or the other.

It's incidental things that tend to get distressing. Maybe it's because they're less constant from novel to novel, and I have less of a cognitive defense to them? In any case, the details vary. The Eragon series, for example (which I just finished; I agree with the criticisms of the first two books, but then Christopher Paolini became a much better author and reinterpreted flaws in his ability to develop sane and well-rounded characters when he was 16 into very real and, often, severe weaknesses in his characters, which makes the series dramatically better for the third and fourth), has rampant telepathy and I wind up feeling very lonely and isolated inside my own head. Another one that comes up (most notably from the Temeraire series) is missing flight; you'd think that'd be common to dragon fiction, but enough authors (having, presumably, not flown under their own power recently) completely miss the mark enough that it evidently fails to affect me, except when it doesn't.

I like dragon-centric fiction, but I'm not sure it's actually good for me. It does, in a roundabout way, remind me that I really need to pursue my own spirituality more than I do, so it does at least have some merit.

I've migrated to DreamWidth. The original post is at http://kistaro.dreamwidth.org/483062.html. View comment count unavailable comments at http://kistaro.dreamwidth.org/483062.html#comments; go ahead and use OpenID to post your own, or you can comment here.

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You have absolutely no idea how much I can commiserate on this.

There's a certain fundamental joy to being simple and whole, that only fully expresses itself when that simplicity and wholeness is threatened or lost. Sometimes, though, that loss teaches us more about who we are than we originally believed.

My current life goal is to make those choices possible in the span of a single life. This is part of what video games and interactive fiction are to me, and I believe we can take the simulation to its utmost, if we don't untangle the rules to solve this biologically.

After all: what measure is knowing who you are without wings, without being able to take them up again?


That's why articles like this (and the videos that go with them) are inspiring to me.

As are they to me, as art projects and for their beauty of expressing, succinctly, that which we want to exist in the world.

A part of me wishes it all wasn't a hoax, though.

Great. Now I want to send a punch to the face through the internet again, and I haven't wanted to do that for years. No emoticon can sufficiently express my disappointment.

This. Always envisioned something like that, ever since reading that particular story that KaniS wrote on Draconic. :)

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