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Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor

Unfortunately, I Really Am That Nerdy

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Hey, boy, Jim, boy, who you lettin' run your life?
chromatic self
kistaro
(Subject line's a song lyric, yeah.)

So I'm back at home, to pick up the vaguely important things I accidentally left behind when heading back to Washington University from Microsoft. (Soap, for one- sure, they sell soap at the campus store, but not unscented soap; perfume makes me sick.) Also to get a chance to recover; while my across-the-hall neighbor hit new records for noise, it's pretty common for his music to be way loud for pretty much the entire weekend. One fifteen-hour nap later (not my record; for consecutive time asleep, 27 hours is the most I've done), I'm feeling better, but I can tell I still haven't gotten over the overall stress-exhaustion.

I'm finally getting a chance to hear some of the music I haven't heard for years, from casette tapes I'd last heard several years ago- they were found again in a box nobody had thought to look at. (And from how dry the house gets, the antique wooden box broke when opened, but since it was held together with glue in the first place and it's just the seams that lost, my father intends to fix it.) As I don't trust magnetic media, and we've got the resources now, my father and I have started turning the tapes into pairs of MP3 files (side A, side B) and CDs; for the ones I really like, I'm going to go to the trouble of splitting them into a separate track per song and burn a CD as such. That's one tape so far, mind you.

I think it's finally settling in for my parents what my employment means: an impending lack of dependence, and they don't like that. That's to the point where my parents are telling me that I should consider myself lucky that they "permitted" me to go to that job interview and they are not sure they're thrilled with my being in Washington for the summer, and then possibly flat-out moving out there.

It's amazing what fake threats my mother can invent. She is, in this case, worried about the incidence of "dangerous radicals" and "survivalists" and... I desperately wish I was kidding here, but apparently there's a higher instance of militia groups in Washington? Relative to Missouri? Is she completely ignorant of this entire shithole of a state as a hole?

I've hit a threshhold, and my parents have seen only the beginning of it. Now that they've been threatening to not let me take this job now that I've secured it, I've made it clear to them that they don't have that option anymore.

My threat is that if they had at any time tried to stop me from even making it to the interview, I would simply have cut them out of the loop- I'd have scheduled everything beginning-to-end on my own, with careful use of the university's shuttle system, a few taxi rides (paid for by Microsoft), and my extra-large wheeled backpack in the stead of proper carry-on luggage.

If they really do resist my attempt to take the summer job, I'll do exactly that, although it will have to be without the University shuttle and I'll have to make do with not much until my first paycheck. It is, unfortunately, a distinct possibility at this point.

For previous considerations about tuition- this one's an easy call because the amount of money I have to pay per year at Washington University after scholarships is less than the amount I stand to make in one summer at Microsoft. Even if they pull their offer to pay what's left of my tuition, I'll come out ahead. I was already planning on paying off my student loans on my own anyway.

Yes, I'm pissed off at them to the point of being irate, but I'm not expressing it to them because I have nothing to gain by doing so. It is now clear that they do not intend to let me have my own future. It is therefore clear that when I do so despite their best efforts, they will not have a right to be a significant part of it.

I've declared my threshhold; my parents are now aware that they are over it. My mother did not like hearing that I was quite willing to go off to Washington without their help or consent. She is quite upset about that, actually. Well, they are at least now aware that I have limits even to what bribes of tuition and familial honor will do, and that they are at them- and it's interesting to note that it's actually reached that point.

They seemed to back off a little, but I mistrust it.

All I can do is see what happens now. I've been going out of my way to appease my parents, but I do think I'm going to resist more strongly from now on because it's obvious they've gotten far too used to having executive control over everything I do.

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I'm glad that you reached this threshold when you have the resources to protect yourself.

I really don't understand why they would act that way. You'd think they'd be pleased you have a job lined up, and also that you won't depend on them to pay the loans off.

As for the shopping… I know the university offers shuttles to at least Target and Sam's; I've seen them in both places. They're marked, curiously enough, 'SHOPPING'.

Right, and it's the point that makes it obvious they are much more interested in having control over me than my having actual independence; the two are obviously mutually exclusive drives, and while parents always have to balance both, they usually tilt in favor of independence. When they're overtilted away from it- that's where I am now.

I'm glad to hear that you're at a point that you can support yourself if you need to. I just wish it weren't necessary for you to have to plan for that contingency.

Best of luck in getting your parents to realize that (*gasp*) you're a living, breathing person, and you've got your own life.

It's pretty amazing to me when parents try to be that controlling. They are simply being irrational and setting themselves up for greater pain than whatever it is they fear now.

The Microsoft opportunity is obviously an excellent one for you, and I can't imagine why they would resist it. It is inevitable that you will make a move like this. Try to keep things on an even footing and just let them think about it rather than antagonizing them over it, and I hope things will turn out well.

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