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Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor

Unfortunately, I Really Am That Nerdy

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So where I've been the past several days since Christmas- in short, trying to keep what little sanity I've got. I don't have much time to post, so just a really short summary...

Christmas Eve was my grandfather's annual Christmas present-unwrapping, done the day before because it's usually most convenient for all involved and it lets my step-grandmother cook a really good meal on Christmas itself without having it overshadowed by the materialism of the previous night. My cousin Jeremy started to whine about not having enough presents and having the fewest (his pile was larger than he was- also note that numerically, I had the fewest, and somehow this failed to particularly upset me), but my mother shut that down quite quickly and I appreciated that greatly. ("Adam said that one year, and what I told him was that if he said that again, then next year, we'd be having Christmas at a homeless shelter so he can see what it's really like to not have enough. And I meant it, too." Shut him up right quickly, although Aunt Karen- not the (deceased) Aunt Vicki who is his mother- was visibly shocked by my mother's tone) It was still a bad situation for me; lots of people in a little tiny room we couldn't get through because of the chairs and presents strewn about, not to mention having to avoid stepping on the (blind) family dog. It doesn't help that two of the guests were rather impressively loud. Loud noise, chaos, being trapped (can't get out with the room that much of a mess), too many people to deal with- all together made it a very draining task for me to avoid breaking down. There are times when Asperger's syndrome is remarkably inconvenient; that's the exact set of stimuli I fundamentally can't deal with.

Trying to handle all that and recover from it is why I've been out of action the last several days; I've been retreating to the comfort of homework assignments and textbooks, the fastest way for me to recover.

It's about to get worse. In around an hour, it'll be the annual family Christmas trip to Indiana, for the even worse environment of my mother's side of the family- all of them without fail having enough hearing loss to shout all the time, all of them bible-humpers, all of them aggressive about wanting to know (and control) details of my personal life that are none of their business- I get to look forward to several days of having to endure this. The most frustrating part is how I inevitably get interrogated about why I don't have a girlfriend. If it keeps escalating at the rate it does, an irate "because I'm gay" is going to be forthcoming, despite it being around half inaccurate. (I'm bisexual, for the probably very few of you not already aware.) It'll shut them up. It'll also probably get me kicked out, which would be temporarily inconvenient but possibly beneficial in the long run.

It doesn't help that my cousin Tyler's behavioural problems have gotten significantly worse to a point where everybody is best advised to avoid him, and from the details, myself included. He needs professional help and his parents don't care enough to give it.

So this could be an interesting few days. At least the motel has wireless Internet and my PDA can connect just fine, so I should be around enough to rant and reply to comments on LJ as appropriate, without the problem of no way to hide a laptop screen in a motel I've had before...

Ugh. These trips to Indiana get worse every year, and for a wide variety of reasons I don't feel like trying to explain in a limited time-period this one is expected to continue the pattern. Is it any wonder I have little enthusiasm for Christmas because it means enduring this rubbish?

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I wish you the best of luck in dealing with that. ...

It's most probably something you've already thought of, but have you ever tried explaining to your parents just how difficult the noisy, crowded, trapped situation is for you to deal with? I don't know what help they could be, but maybe they could be some ...

Also most probably something you've thought of, but sitting near doors might at least help alleviate the trapped part of the feeling.

Can you take your homework assignments and textbooks along with you?

*hugs* I hope things go as well for you as they are able.

I've brought both textbooks and computer, but it's no direct help when 99% of the time is spent in one big family gathering.

My father understands and sympethizes. I've explained to my mother; she couldn't care less and gets consistently irritated with me for "refusing to be social with [my] family" when I inevitably have to find ways to duck out.

Bible-humpers? Sorry, jumped out at me for some reason. :P

And this is one reason I'm very glad all my extended family are too far away to have major holidays with - that kind of chaos isn't fun.

Good luck keeping your sanity. Bring stuff to work on if you can... *hugs*

Eh, minor typo...

This is part of why I need to move out. I need to be able to refuse to go on trips like this, although I'd have to contrive an excuse. I'd like to not even give them my contact information, but I know I can't get away with that. It'll be enough of a trick to not give them my apartment key or a duplicate thereof.

Hey man...sorry that your Christmas sucks... families make or break it, and I am sorry that yours creates such a volatile situation. I hope that the rest of break can go well for you... when will you be around? It will be cool if I can see you...

The rest of my break involves clearing that Computer Architecture incomplete, starting on my research next semester, and helping my father with his software manuals. I'll be back on Sunday evening, but probably not in a mood for guests for at least a few days! I'd love to invite you over, though- remind me some time after I get home and we can work something out.

Every time you mention your family, you make it sound like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, only not half as funny. I know you'll figure out some way to survive.

*hugs* Yours sounds like mine - only you apparently have less of the "stupid family crap" to deal with than I do. Christmas Eve - my immediate family + kids, Christmas Day Lunch Mum's side of the family + having to give my son to his asshole of a father, Christmas Day Dinner - best friends house all the growed up people consuming food and copious amounts of alcohol, Boxing Day (Day after Christmas for those who don't have that particular holiday) Dad's side of the family, thankfully minus the attempted rapist cousin (Yay!) but with the hypochondriac grandmother - and thankfully I get to have my son with me for that - and then go home and hole up like a hermit for the rest of the week.

You'll get through, because you don't have a choice admittedly, but you'll do it. And we'll be here for hugs and venting when you need it.

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