Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor (kistaro) wrote,
Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor

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The Audial Equivalent of "Wario Ware"

So, in my usual Shrine of Inspiration- that is to say, the bathroom- I came up with what strikes me as a horrible mix of Wario Ware, The Gong Show, and podcasting- hooking MP3 files up to an RSS feed. Horrible in the sense that it's one of those ideas that you hear about, and your first thought is "Wow, that's a really awful idea", and then you think about how you're going to go about doing it because it absolutely has to be done. This is one of those ideas.

Imagine, if you will, a podcast called Attention Deficit. Each week's "show", which would be as long as I have content for, would be a sequence of unrelated segments, strung together as rapidly as possible, with only some familliar cue noise (probably a record-scratch sort of effect) to denote when segments have been switched. Perhaps very mini-series could start up, because this would be listener-contributed in large part- I'd open up a gmail drop-box for submissions.

The only thing the segments would have in common: They're all PG-13 or lower, and they are all fifteen seconds long or shorter, preferably shorter. The e-mail drop box wouldn't be "you will be on the show"; I'd try to put on as much as I can. "Hey, we're hitting ourselves in the heads with cardboard tubes" and then some rather Blue-Man-Group-ish musical "bonk bonk bonk" would be a definite winner. Completely non-musical? Not so much. Fifteen seconds of belching has a sharply lower chance, an American Idol reject will get on at five seconds but not at fifteen, "Hi mom" is on if it's two seconds or less, very short news reports are likely to make it, and in general anything I can't imagine anybody wanting to hear for the duration wouldn't make it on. Overall, I'd try to accept more than I drop, were I to do such a hare-brained cockamamie idea.

I might have enough free time this summer to pull it off, too. It strikes me as something that will either be completely ignored or wildly popular, and I have no idea which will happen. An audio show of a bunch of very short clips intended to make no sense at all is sort of funny as a general idea, but it won't last long unless it is actually funny or otherwise amusing. Imagine a badly-overacted soap opera with fifteen-second episodes. And drop the comedy, just make it entertainment! A sci-fi thriller with something akin to a plot... fifteen seconds at a time! For that matter, fifteen seconds of good music you composed yourself would probably make it on.

As I stated, this is either a really, really dumb idea or a really, really good one and I have no idea which it is. I think I'll have to try it to find out which.

Were I to start this, can I rely on any of you to try to produce anything to get at least a combined total of a five-minute show for each of the first two weeks? That's actually only forty segments, which shouldn't be that hard to make. I can probably cover a significant number myself, but the idea of that is definitely, definitely not to have it be a one-person or even a small-staff show; I'd like a variety of submissions from a variety of sources. If and only if it gets popular, my time for this ludicrous project will be fully taken up with choosing what submissions I want and pasting them together in Audacity, rather than producing content myself. Of course, to make it interesting enough to get popular, I have to have content...


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