June 27th, 2012



I need to learn how to let myself get more rest.

I've been spending more and more of my time utterly exhausted, lately. Part of it is bad scheduling on my part, but part of it is too much demand; the time between when I finish work and when I need to sleep simply doesn't include enough time for what I have to do to keep the household running.

Not all of it is sleep deprivation; it's more about what the sleep deprivation implies. I'm pushing myself to get things done right up until I can finally make it into bed about 5 hours before my alarm goes off in the morning. I'm getting very little psychological rest, as well.

I don't know what to do about this. I'm not doing well at keeping up with people because I don't have the energy to, and I feel like time I spend talking to people is stolen from household maintenance time; when I manage the apartment, I feel like I'm stealing that time from people who want or need to talk with me.

It's making me unfairly resent the people I live with, since they demand even more non-interruptable time, time I can't parallelize with getting the other things around the house done. So in the end, every half-hour I spend talking to people in this house is at least 15 minutes I don't sleep.

This can't stay as it is. I have a few thoughts about what has to change, but while pieces of it are changing, others are not.

I've migrated to DreamWidth. The original post is at http://kistaro.dreamwidth.org/484329.html. View comment count unavailable comments at http://kistaro.dreamwidth.org/484329.html#comments; go ahead and use OpenID to post your own, or you can comment here.