August 2nd, 2010

a look of abject horror, yikes

Link's Bar and Cannibalistic Grill

Cheap, plentiful, and implausibly effective healing items are a classic example of video game Acceptable Breaks from Reality, but, like so many other such breaks from reality, they can lead to naturally disturbing conclusions when taken to ludicrous extremes.

Specifically, consider the Legend of Zelda series. It is repeatedly established that healing items (sometimes very potent healing items) are generally cheaper than food. The upshot to this is that after his adventures are over, Link can theoretically make his living by selling his own body parts for food, since the cost of instantaneously healing from grievous bodily harm is probably the cheapest source of meat available to any given restaurant.

Oddly, in the setting, this should be significantly less controversial than any other source of meat, since it neatly avoids actually slaughtering livestock. It doesn't even involve nonconsenting livestock. I'm reminded of stumbling across several websites advocating eating the placenta after giving birth, including a large number of vegetarians willing to do so on exactly those grounds. I suppose this would be the same, except probably less painful than giving birth.

This is the sort of thing I think about when I spontaneously wake up at 3:00 AM and can't get back to sleep.

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