October 29th, 2002

nyah, tongueout, glasses, nerd

The Little Revenges

My mother just compared my hair to a dead muskrat, informing me that I need to comb it.

This is a common battle. She refuses to accept that no matter WHAT I do to it, my hair will not remain combed. And it doesn't help that her idea of "a good length" is my idea of "a shaven head." She accuses me of looking like a girl about when it gets to the length I prefer.

I did get my revenge. At the time, I was playing with a very old 1980's-era gadget called the "Little Professor." It's essentially a simpler Manic Math Machine (see below)- ten math questions on the same operator, with two-minute time limits for each. It gives you three chances for each problem, but you only score if you're right the first time.

I finished my run of Multiplication Level Four. Displayed flashing on the screen was my score:

*10*

I gave my mother a turn on the same settings.

The blank look on her face was absolutely priceless. It is a memory I shall cherish as long as I live, perhaps through several lifetimes. She looked exactly like the average college student in a quantum physics class.

15 minutes later, she handed the unit back to me, still displaying her score:

*6*
  • Current Music
    The Evolution Control Committe - Rocked By Rape
color cycle (slow)

Judo Halloween Party

Every year, my sensei holds a halloween party at the school gym that serves as our dojo. It's great fun, and it's where she awards the trophies for "Most Improved Student" and the like.

It starts with the games. First, a standard relay race- okay, nothing major. It's followed by the Chopstick Relay: go over to a pair of buckets, and use a pair of chopsticks to move as many marbles as you can move in ten seconds (time for running included) from the full bucket to the empty bucket. The winning team is usually the one with the Japanese guy on it, for obvious reasons.

Followed by the standard inchworm relay- do two "inchworms" (yes, that belly-bomber) and run the rest of the way.

Followed by the fun one: the Butt Board Relay.

Two people run at once, sandwiching two foam blocks between their butts and running sidways to the end, without touching each other or the blocks with their hands. Followed by the "put your heads together" variant.

What fun. Followed by the standard Balloon Pop relay: grab a balloon from the bin, run to the end, and sit on it. *POP*. Run back.

Nice in theory, but we used the small balloons; the underinflated small balloons. The most resiliant one took three minutes to pop, even with Keith picking up and dropping the weighty Thomas on top of the balloon.

This was far funnier to watch than it may sound at first reading. Imagine a strong tall guy picking up and dropping a fat black kid on top of an orange balloon, both in full judo uniform, and you start to realize how utterly ridiculous it all looked.

We lost that one (I was on that team) but we were laughing too hard to care.

At the awards ceremony, I got an Honor Roll Award and the 2nd Place Super Student award, for showing Sensei my homework. Pretty cool, actually...
  • Current Music
    "Weird Al" Yankovic- "Fat"