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Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor

Unfortunately, I Really Am That Nerdy

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Reflections on a toy
airbrushed, thoughtful
Trying to clean up this dump of a study (I am, as always, home for the weekend), I found a toy I hadn't seen in years. Nothing particularly complex, just your typical lump of molded plastic: a "Travel Spirograph." You are likely familliar with the full-size version; the portable version has a toothed circular frame that goes over a plastic platform on which one places a Post-it note, and that platform is slid away to reveal a chamber for gears, pens, and a pad of Post-It notes. I decided to take the time out to play with it- even after all this time, the pens still worked.

No, they weren't the original pens from when I got the toy thirteen and a half years ago for my fifth birthday, but I was still surprised to find them holding their own. I think they were the second set, from when the first ones ran completely dry. Many walls of my house- a different house, then- were decorated with pattern-covered Post-It notes.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm 18 now. I'm in college. I'm not depressed anymore. I'm taller. (Still a bit short, but now I'm not a full head below others of the same age as myself. I'm still in a growth spurt, but it's slowing- it's still good my parents sprung for the second-largest meal plan. Especially after I went $400 over last semester, although that includes the $250 donated from a friend.) I've settled on computer science, as opposed to illusionist (stage magician), astronaut (although I might try for a NASA job, who knows?), author, zookeeper, police officer... In some ways, I suppose I was a typical five-year-old. (A five-year-old reading through my father's science fiction collection, but never mind that.)

But I haven't really changed much since then. Nothing fundamental. Through it all- the Hell of public schooling, the freedom of college, the experience of volunteering at the Science Center (something I'd wanted to do since I first went there, but I had to wait ten or eleven years to turn 14 first)- a lot is still the same. I'm still overly idealistic. I still think burps are funny. I still see little merit in not having fun just because other people don't think it befits you. I'm still facinated with and talented at using computers- I'd say I've taken that to an extreme. I still don't understand why people hurt each other. I'm still a sneaky little bastard. I still love games of all forms- and I still invent new rules for any particular game set within, on average, two days of obtaining the game, usually in a way that reduces luck, increases strategy, and makes for a better game. (There is a reason I love Piecepack and Icehouse.) I'm still a dragon. (I accepted it then, yes. Denying my identity fluctuated as public schooling got worse.)

And a four-inch Spirograph with a two-and-a-half inch drawing window can still keep me occupied for longer than it really has any right to. Of course, now, I've got the manual dexterity to use it right (I used to have extremely poor fine motor skills), and I have to conciously keep myself from observing the fact that the one-hole on any of the round gears results in almost a cycloid, or trying to figure out what parametric equation best describes the curve I'm plotting. But it's still a fun toy. A simple toy based on simple geometric pattern plotting.

Those aren't the toys one sees frequently pushed. The big flashing advertisements are video games- which I'm okay with, but I really do think that more creative pursuits are appropriate for younger children (yes, in retrospect, as much as I whined about it, my parents were right to refuse). Or they're these ridiculously structured LEGO sets- no longer a box of 2x4s and a slip of paper saying "here are a few ideas, but go and figure out the rest yourself", but these sets designed to create exactly one particular scene from one particular movie. I can't remember the last time I saw a board game advertised- I haven't seen a "Hasbro Game Night" ad that didn't refer to something that needed batteries for at least two years, and they were the only ads for that for a while. You never see books advertised on television. Instead, you see signs at schools and churches, begging children to read for at least 15 minutes a day.

That terrifies me. Once I figured out how to read- mostly from Wheel of Fortune and rather patient parents- I would usually read for six to eight hours a day. You couldn't stop me. Stories, books of facts, the manual for the VCR (which I programmed for my mother when she wanted something recorded- she didn't know how to use it, but I did, and if I got stuck, I'd just check the manual. I was age 2 at the time), whatever I could grab. I honestly believe that the "normal reading age" advertised for children is way too late- the concept of only beginning to be able to read at age 5 astounds me, and I sincerely don't believe it.

Egad. I really shouldn't be getting this nostalgic about my youth when I'm only 18, y'know?

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The part about reading.. I was like that too. It makes me kind of sad though. :/ I have it in me to be this extremely intelligent person.. But I just seemed to have stopped right about the time middle school came around. I stopped caring, I stopped trying to be smarter. I didn't care about booksmarts anymore. It just.. faded.

It makes me sad to think about where I could be in my intelligence right now in that respect. I know this is coming from no where, but don't ever stop trying to learn more about the world around you, Kistaro. You'll regret it.

Hey Kistaro... sorry to say this... but I have to say "no" to your nice offer to take me in on the ordering of the zelda games... I hope you enjoy them though... I am not familiar with the original Zelda, but Ocarina of Time is awesome. Majora's Mask is my favorite 3-D video game OF ALL TIME (though it is rather tedious), and Zelda II is a little odd, and insanely frustrating, but still cool. I hope you enjoy these games... once again, I'm sorry...

Hey, no problem. The exact amount extra I have to pay to not split shipping costs is $1.00, so it's not really a huge deal!

I definitely agree with your assertion that the reading age is at 2 or 3, rather than 5. I don't know exactly when I started reading, but I'm pretty sure it was before kindergarten.

I also had an experience similar to antipathier's - when I got to junior high, after a year in homeschool, I figured out pretty quickly that I had to fit in or endure two years of merciless torment at Cross Keys. In my case, I adopted the faux-Valley girl act that most early teen girls were putting on at the time in response to the movie Clueless. (Though that movie had come out a couple years before, it became a staple once we got to junior high, it seems.) So for 2-3 years of my life I still had a mind, but when my mind objected to the stupid way we were all acting, I just sort of told it, "Like, whatever!" and moved on...

Luckily my "moron" stance didn't extend to the classroom, so I continued getting the kind of grades and test scores during the first part of high school that I needed to get to go to MSA - that's where my anti-intellectualism turned itself around and I "became conscious," so to speak. As I mention at least a few times every week ... I'm a lot better off for having gone there.

Incidentally, Robert's beating me on that count, too, as apparently he's so awesome that he didn't need something like MSA to get him going. He's already become conscious a couple years sooner than I did. Of course, this means he's continually resentful and bored with the interactions of mere mortals a couple years sooner than I was, too...

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The LEGOs I have are mostly involved in playing with my LEGO Mindstorms set- y'know, the robot sets? I've got a good load of them, though. The current robot is actually set for battle with other LEGO robots...

Hello! Glad to be an interesting thing.

As far as I can explain, which isn't really all that great, Otherkin is as simple- and as complex as- an inhuman identity. You describe yourself as a metal elemental; reading your userinfo, this is described as a facility with making technology do the impossible. I do the same thing with wind. But do you consider yourself to, at some level- such as your soul- to not be human? When you think of yourself, do you consider yourself not to be well-described by the label of "human"? Do you identify and consider yourself to be something other than human?

That's pretty much the base of it. I'm never good at answering this question when asked, of course... so please, ask more questions.

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This physical form i wear is nothing more than a crude puppet. I pull the strings, and it dances. I've had people tell me i have the soul of an angel. I don't believe in god, so i'm not sure how to interpret that.

As I, conversely, believe in a whole buncha' gods, for really vague definitions of the word. And hence fail to have much reverence for "angel", or consider it a solid definition.

I can see someone- as you seem to be, from your description- simply disinclined to identify onesself with a physical form in any way. I do think that it is correct to classify this as Otherkin, especially if you find yourself to be just generally different. Is my conclusion that you do too hasty on my part?

Your apparent affinity for the element of Metal is quite interesting- I can sense wind patterns and weather systems near, but it's not exactly that precise!

Damn, now I'm really curious. At what distance can you crash a Windows 95/98/ME box? And if you're blindfolded and unaware of its exact position relative to you? I sort of take it for granted that you can crash a Windows 95/98/ME machine, as I think most people can do that. It's sort of like trying to knock over a nail balanced on its point...

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