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color cycle (slow)

Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor

Unfortunately, I Really Am That Nerdy

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color cycle (slow)
Planning only on an innocent evening repast, I headed into Bear's Den for a beef quesadilla. There, I encountered a group of people with whom I had made acquaintance early on in the semester, by saying the right things at the right time. They are known to most as the Raucous Assholes, and they do everything they can to further that reputation without actually hurting anybody. As far as I have determined, they are all very intelligent, very kind, very emotional people- they just show few signs of it to those who don't get to know them, those who don't really watch, and/or those without psychic abilities (please note my community enrollment in empaths).

What they seem to be is a bunch of raucous assholes. What they are is a bunch of people choosing to be a parody of every raucous asshole to ever live. They are a very entertaining group to watch and converse with- a parody of excessive sexuality, a parody of close-mindedness- and then conversation accidentally breaks into something intelligent, and reality shows through. But not for long, and we're back to discussing the merits of scrawling (in University-approved sidewalk chalk) "BADGER BADGER BADGER" over every walkway on campus in the dark of night. This predictably turns into "beaver beaver beaver" and goes downhill from there, and it is thoroughly comical to watch- as all the participants are clearly aware. Less obvious is the cause of the laughter- it's not the dirty jokes, it's the meta-joke of the whole situation.

New forms of sex were invented. "PROUD TO BE A PERVERT" bumper stickers were planned. Fun was had by all in the conciousness of the sheer sarcasm of the excessive sexuality of this campus.

Who would think that I would enjoy that? But I truly did.

After that, I went back to the counter. The lady who rang up my order had asked me to come back once my meal was done because she needed to ask me something about computers. I am known to most of campus to be a "computer science dude," and those who don't know tend to be made aware by hearing me being asked (again) about something or other about one of my computer science classes. So it was no surprise that she knew me as someone to ask.

Her question was not easy to decipher. I quickly determined that she is not computer literate, but she was asking about getting a Southwestern Bell internet connection. She wanted to know if she should go dial-up or the more expensive DSL- and what the heck that was. I did my best to explain the two, and wound up having to touch on the infrastructure of the Internet and the nature of such communications in the process. But she understood- sort of- why I considered DSL to be the better choice.

It somehow- very fortunately- fell into conversation as to what computer she had.

Jeffrey- my Acting professor prefers to be addressed by his first name- would have been pround of the broadcast of my reaction, had he seen it. I was not expecting to be told that I was dealing with a Windows 95 machine. I then had to explain the concept of "obsolete" and why that computer would probably never get on the Internet and actually be able to do anything. I then had to explain the difference between hardware and software, in why she couldn't install some program to upgrade it.

She got the point across that a new computer was probably the best choice. And for her- and her level of literacy- I suggested a desktop Macintosh. While I dislike Macintosh's excessive user-friendliness to the point of not having a command prompt, it seemed perfect for her. And then I had to explain what Macintosh or Windows actually meant.

And y'know? While it took something of a bite out of my time to sleep before tomorrow's exam, being nice to people- especially people who are all too frequently ignored- is a very worthwhile way to spend time.

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Windows 95 computers can get internet. It's not impossible. As for obsolete computers, I have laptops that have lasted longer than I have lived in a given state. If it was a old esktop, you can upgrade it. It'll be more reliable than the mosst recent versions of Windows cuz they seem to have gone down in the past. Old computers being more reliable than new is strange, but true in some cases. I agree that a Mac is the best option but it might be easier if she upgraded her computer or just simply installed the internet which isnt impossible. If she gets a new computer she'll have to learn a new OS and that takes time.

A Win95 machine can get a dial-up connection, but DSL does not work on one.

I agree that computers are still quite functional for very long times- I use one at home that's six years old. I use it for DOS-based games. However, for trying to use any vaguely modern software, her computer is way post-mortem, and there's not much for it.

Her computer is below upgrading. She doesn't have the technical capability to do it for one, and I suspect she'd need a complete overhaul of everything for two- and it would all have to be done in the limited set of "components compatible with Windows 95."

Oh, and good luck on the Physics test!

DSL (and soimetimes cable modems) don't always work on Win95 and Win98 because of a bug in the TCP/IP implementation that doesn't wait long enough to get a DHCP address.

The patch/fix/workaround? Buy Windows Millenium Edition. Seriously. That's what I had to do a couple years ago when I first got my cable modem and it wouldn't get an address. This is actually documented my MicroSloth somewhere on their maze of websites.


Don't go telling people to 'install the internet' ;)

What annoyed me was Intel's advertising at one point that suggested that using their processors would make the Internet faster, rather than making some applications which may or may not be Internet-related faster.

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