color cycle (slow)

Kistaro Windrider, Reptillian Situation Assessor

Unfortunately, I Really Am That Nerdy

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Fatigue
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kistaro
I need to learn how to let myself get more rest.

I've been spending more and more of my time utterly exhausted, lately. Part of it is bad scheduling on my part, but part of it is too much demand; the time between when I finish work and when I need to sleep simply doesn't include enough time for what I have to do to keep the household running.

Not all of it is sleep deprivation; it's more about what the sleep deprivation implies. I'm pushing myself to get things done right up until I can finally make it into bed about 5 hours before my alarm goes off in the morning. I'm getting very little psychological rest, as well.

I don't know what to do about this. I'm not doing well at keeping up with people because I don't have the energy to, and I feel like time I spend talking to people is stolen from household maintenance time; when I manage the apartment, I feel like I'm stealing that time from people who want or need to talk with me.

It's making me unfairly resent the people I live with, since they demand even more non-interruptable time, time I can't parallelize with getting the other things around the house done. So in the end, every half-hour I spend talking to people in this house is at least 15 minutes I don't sleep.

This can't stay as it is. I have a few thoughts about what has to change, but while pieces of it are changing, others are not.

I've migrated to DreamWidth. The original post is at http://kistaro.dreamwidth.org/484329.html. View comment count unavailable comments at http://kistaro.dreamwidth.org/484329.html#comments; go ahead and use OpenID to post your own, or you can comment here.

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I strongly empathize. Of course, I'm also one of the housemates (eep!), though admittedly the only one that seems to read here reliably. </p>

I'm taking a risk in replying, but I hope it's an acceptable one.

From my side of things, I'm equally exhausted for different reasons. I've put in anywhere from two to five hours a day cleaning the house, organizing the furniture, vacuuming and steaming all of the things, (all of them), and tackling dishes while balancing interviews. Emotionally, I'm also exhausted because, with my livelihood and continued presence in jeopardy, I don't allow myself to rest reliably or well, either.

From my perspective, I should have the energy to do more. In fact, it's been hard for me to not feel shame for being around the house all day when it's indicated that something remains needing to be done. Yet, I feel emotionally and physically swamped, due in large part to being the only other active and reliable contributor to a household of more than three people.

It wasn't like this for me when I was living alone, and I'm realizing that it's just not realistic to maintain the upkeep for N+1 people without policy, planning, and a mutual respect for the time and needs of others. That last part is blocking, and as far as I'm concerned, that is definitely not on you.

I realize that this is preaching to the choir, given how you ran your previous apartment. My current state of mind has made me unreliable, but I will continue to do what I can to help. After all, it's the least that I can offer.


Oh, a housemate reliable in aspect to the house keeping. It's pleasant to know you are keeping yourself busy. It's nothing like 2 of my roommates who barely do anything (no job, no school, no job hunting). I've created a calendar for the dish washing chore, but my 3 roommates have trouble keeping up with it. Anyway, these 3 dragons are moving out this week-end and I might pass time this summer all by myself in this 5 1/2. ^'===='^

I meant to reply to Goldkin's comments. Hmm... blah. Hehe. XD;

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